My Photographic Process

A Foggy Morning

2012-02-12T22:03:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while we get a really foggy morning in Southern California. There is nothing like black and white and mist. If you don't believe me ask Michael Kenna, who has made quite a nice living making photographs in dew. Although, because of the saturated moisture in the air, everything is messy and moist including the gear, it's quite peaceful photographing in fog. And, the fog hides a lot of unwanted background stuff, or at least it softens it. It's been an abnormal dry and warm winter in Southern California, and sadly there has been few misty morning like the Saturday I made these photographs.

Thoughts from Jake Stangel

2012-01-26T09:39:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading A Photo Editor and came upon an interview with a young buck photographer named Jake Stangel. Although his work is not my cup of tea, yet what from what I read of and by him I'm very impressed. He's a photographer's photographer, and seems to be a good guy. He has a blog, and on one of his posts he shares the 4 things he believes are most important to becoming a professional photographer. It's sound advice, and even an old pro could get something from reading them. No 4 is to initially shoot small with local weekly journals, i.e. get your feet wet. He has a list of items that he suggest the emerging photog to know before doing an assignment, and this photographer wholeheartedly agrees with all of them. I've actually copied the list. Of course it's like anything: you read, read, read but there is nothing like experience. And fortunately or unfortunately you learn the most and hopefully only once when you screw up. He suggests it, but let me drive it home-- I don't care what or who you're shooting for, treat every assignment as if it's your last. Shoot it, to the degree your budget allows, as if it's an assignment for Vanity Fair.

Quote

2012-01-18T22:24:00.000-08:00

There is a great blog post where all 35 of the Magnum photographers give their advice to young photographers. It's a great read. My favorite quote is by Dennis Stock, "make an articulate image."

Rishwain Boys

2011-12-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

Since their oldest son Gabriel was a baby I have been photographing the boys of my good friends Erin and Brian Rishwain. Often I photograph them a month before Christmas, so Erin can use one image for a holiday card. This can present a challenge because I'm always attempting to make a portrait, while Erin wants me to take a fun, smiley, and animated photograph. This year we reached a compromise. For her I pulled out the 5D and shot away until she saw something she liked on the back of the camera. This year, now that the boys are old enough to hold still for at least a minute, I brought the 8x10 Horseman. Working with an 8x10 is never easy, yet making a portrait with it is a real effort. Too shoot people with the 8x10, working the camera must be second nature. At the price of sheet film these days improperly exposed film is a very expensive waste. Yet, when you nail an exposure there is just nothing like it. I'm not sure you can see the quality of this exposure on your screen. If you can't let me assure you it's full of detail. And the tonality is extremely rich. I hope to annually photograph the boys, a la Nick Nixon, using the Horseman. The boys are restless, especially Julian on the left, but after they start to see the results I believe even they will begin to appreciate their annual portrait. I also intend to make Platinum/Palladium contact prints. I'll keep you abreast of my progress. Cheers

Nothing

2011-11-29T22:21:00.000-08:00

I am desperate for another project, and nothing is coming to me. I've had ideas, but ideas and a buck 50 will buy you a cup of coffee. I've looked at a thousand websites searching for a spark of an idea. I've looked at the work at all 50 of the 2011 Critical Mass winners. I search for something that is not derivative of me or others. So, today, desperate, frustrated, I packed up the Super Graphic and drove around just searching for a photograph. Anything, and sadly I found nothing. The high clouds, which beautifully diffused the sun when I was packing my gear disappeared once I left my house allowing the harsh contrasty sun to dominate any potentially decent photograph. Especially after having been in Tuscany and Paris last month I'm feeling creatively stifled, and sometimes I just hate where I live. It's so culturally unalive and uninspiring. To demonstrate my frustration, this is the first blog post where I omit an image. Bahhhhh.

Herman

2011-11-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday with Fluorescent lights that I purchased at Home Depot I made these two portraits of my friend Herman Johnson. I met Herman at a photography class at Long Beach City College. We collaborated on a project and have since become friends. I have a lot of respect for Herman. He's been through a lot, and done time. Yet, through it all he's one of the most positive people I know.

I photographed him with both the Super Graphic 135mm F 4.7, and these two examples here with a Nikon 50mm F 1.4 with an adapter on the Canon 5D Mark II. I am very pleased with the results. I'm also liking, even though it's been done again and again, the cyan-blue color cast of the Fluorescent bulbs.

Memphis, TN

2011-11-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

Last September Sydney was working in Memphis, Tennessee, so I decided to visit and keep her company . We had some good barbecue, both wet and dry, went to Graceland, which was not as tacky as I had assumed, and spent an evening on Beale Street in downtown Memphis listening to blues. We also took a long walk along the Mississippi. When Sydney worked I drove around Memphis, and West Memphis, Arkansas looking for pictures. I'm in love with my Super Graphic, so I travel with it while the 5D collects dust in the cabinet. I didn't make a lot of exposures, perhaps 15 total, but the ones I did make I am quite please with. We were lucky with the weather. Michael Sebastian who lived in Memphis for about 4 years wrote to me that in summer that part of the south could be as hot as the gates of hell. But we got a break with the temperature--it never rose above 75 and neither did the humidity. Although it poured the day we left, most days there was these high light clouds that illuminated the Mississippi Delta with sweet diffused light. I loved photographing there, and if get the chance to return for a couple of months I'll do a project called "chillin." Folks just hanging out waiting for what comes next. Here's sampling of some of the images I like best.

The day before we departed I was photographing amidst this horrible dilapidated demolished area that had at one time been the location of a convenience store off of highway 51 just north of Memphis. I was bending over my camera case to grab something and in the corner of my eye I spot something very small with 4 legs walking towards me. My senses told me it was a rat, so I jump back and let out a loud sissy scream. Turns out the rat was a scrawny kitten not over 6 weeks old. Well that kitten won the lotto, and is now living in Lakewood eating 3 squares a day. I thought he was a boy, so we named him, what else, Elvis. Turns out my understanding of feline genitalia is lacking, and Elvis is not a boy. However, Elvis is keeping her name.

My Trip to Europe, Part I

2011-10-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

Yikes again. It's been two months since my last entry, and I initially promised myself that I would at least try to post something bi-monthy. Yes I am well aware that bi-monthly is not once every two months. Although I learned long ago photographers are not allowed to have excuses, it is much more challenging to update a photo blog when shooting film. The work flow is a bit more than merely downsizing an image. But I hope to make up for my insufficient frequency or for that matter any post by writing this very long post, yet hopefully interesting opus. Last Friday Sydney and I returned from a 3 week sejourn in Tuscany and Paris. We were in Europe for two reasons. We were in Italy for a very belated honey-moon. I wanted to share Tuscany with Sydney while we were young enough to completely savor the beauties of Italian life. Secondly we were in Paris for my show "So Far So Close." The vernisage, opening, was on October 13th. But, more about Paris and my show in the next post. I can only write about one country at a time. With the help of my friend Brian and his company BookMyAward we used my American Express points we had accumulated, from buying all that film over the years, for two first class round trip tickets. On both are flights Chicago to Frankfurt and Dusseldorf to Chicago we treated like royalty. On each flight for my appetizer I opted for Caviar . I hadn't eaten Caviar since my decadent days when I was a model in Paris back in the day. While waiting for our connecting flight to Milano we both took showers in the Lufthansa first-class lounge. The shower rooms were huge, with bathrobes and slippers. After traveling for 15 hours it was sweet. The real adventure began after picking up our rental cars at Malpensa airport in Milano and driving to our Tuscan villa in Chianni. We travelled east to Genoa than south along the coast to Pisa, but the scenic route to Tuscany meant little opportunity to view the Mediterranean coast as we drive through tunnel after mountain tunnel. It took us about 4 hours before we exited the autostrada at Pisa, and then things got very interesting. By then it was dark, and we were left solely with google directions to our destination. After about an hour of driving around in circles around roundabouts we realized that our directions were not accurate, and we had gotten separated from our friends who had the GPS in the other car. By this time we had been traveling for over 24 hours, and we were beginning to get a tad cranky. Fortunately Sydney's daughter Rachel had her phone upgraded to international service and we were able to contact the Renate, the German woman who was the caretaker of the villa. Even then it took us another two hours to finally find Chianni. Mostly by luck and the generous help of a owner of a trattoria we made it to our villa. After unloading our luggage we had the first of what would be many glasses of delicious local.

We awoke the following morning with a view of a Tuscan valley with miles of vineyards to take in. Chianni is nestled on a Tuscan hill and to get to it you must drive up windy roads. It's difficult for an out of towner to find Chianni even in daylight, how we managed to make it to what would be our Tuscan home for the next 12 days that first night became a wonder to us all throughout our stay in Italy.getting way out of your comfort zoneAfter taking day of getting our bearings and our Italian feet under ourselves, then finding the cafe that had WiFi, the ATM that gave us euros, the market we could buy our groceries, and discovering our charming little town of Chianni we were ready to venture out to take in the beauty of Tuscan. Our first foray was to Florence, Firenze. We drove, which we later learned was a mistake. After a miserable drive to and fro to Florence Renate told us that it would be much easier if we drove a half hour to Pontedera and took the train from there. In Pontedera we could comfortably, and much more cheaply take the train to Florence, Pisa, Lucca, and Sienna. But that's the adventure of traveling-- getting way out of your comfort zone and discovering things as you go. Our first trip to Florence was not all that pleasant partially because we were all still recovering from jet lag. Yet, I believe what turned us off most about Florence was that at every point of interest, Il Ponte Vecchio, il duomo, the Ufficio museum we were surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of tourists. There were at least twenty groups that we observed following a guide who held and waved a stick with a flag or some indicator on it in case someone of their group got lost. The lost sheep had only to remember the symbol their tour guide was holding to safely find their way back to the fold. I for one would rather be lost than be a part of a herd. I had been Florence nearly thirty years before, and I do not remember that many tourists. I also don't recall back then seeing so many Chinese tourists. And what I also noticed is that everyone in the world now takes photographs, mind you most of them from the same angle. For anyone reading this blog if you do make it to Florence, I recommend you go in winter. Yea it will be cold, and perhaps even rainy, but I believe it will be worth because in-climate weather will hopefully cut the number of tourist in half.

The following day took us to Volterra. Driving in Tuscany can be exhausting, because it is mostly navigating small windy, hilly, country roads. If I was alone in a Porsche it would have been fantastic, but with 4 others in a minivan it became tiring and a bit tedious. But I didn't complain, I would rather swerve on a Tuscan hill then be stuck on the 405. We were passing through vineyards where some of the best Italian wines are made. In fact the best and cheapest wine that has ever touched my lips was the local table wines. Because preservatives were not added the local table wines were not meant to travel or be stored in a cellar, but boy were they so delicious. In truth after 3 weeks of very good wine, I can no longer drink the cheap stuff at Trader Joes.

The highlight in Volterra was an old Roman Amphitheater, and considering how long it has been since the last dude wearing a toga made a speech there it was still in remarkably good shape. Looking at these ruins some two thousand years old, made me ponder about all the thousands of people, who are now dust, that stood where I stood viewing the amphitheater. And knowing that when in another hundred years, when I am dust, some other American tourist will be standing at the exact same place I stood on October 5th, 2011 marveling at the same view of that amphitheater still intact made me feel in awe of all that is and was and extremely insignificant.

On the 6th of October we drove to Pisa. We still hadn't learned that it would have been much easier to take the train, so we took about 3 tours around the city until we eventually found and could see the leaning tower of Pisa. I've seen it before, yet I was just in much in awe of it as I was the first time. Actually I think it was more in awe of it this time. The setting for the Tower is the Campo dei Miracoli. Keeping company with the leaning tower in the campo are the Duomo and Babtistery. All three are absolutely ornately gorgeous structures, and each alone stand unique. However as an ensemble they make an odd visual connection. The architecture of each is different, and built during different epochs, so they contrast with one another but in an jazzy way they harmonize as a architectural tryptic. And since these structures bring millions of euros to the city of Pisa, unlike many other buildings in Italy, the Campo, the three structures, and surrounding grassy area are splendidly maintained. However, as special as it all was the thousands of tourists, again, detracted from all the beauty and splendor. Something to note: the last time I stood in Campo dei Miracoli was about twenty-five years ago. Since then about 2 billion more people inhabit the planet. It only makes sense that one of the most popular tourist sites in the world will have more tourists.

Our favorite city during our stay in Tuscany was Lucca, which sits about 50 kilometers north of Pisa. The center, old part of town, is nearly as charming as the center of Sienna, but because it lacks any major tourist attractions it is much much less crowded. We had lunch at Piazza dell'Anfiteatro and it was sublime. After lunch we strolled around the narrow romantic streets lit with bouncing reflected light. Our stay there was really delightful, and with out all the tourists we truly enjoyed our Italian moment. I recommend any who visit Tuscany who wish to experience old Italy without the mobs make sure to put Lucca on your to do list.

Since I came to Europe with only my Super Graphic, most of the photographs that accompany this post were taken by Sydney with her Canon G-12. Because I was already loaded down with the Super Graphic, 7 holders and all the other stuff required to use that camera, I didn't have enough room in the camera case that I purchased especially for this trip for another camera. I now regret not having found a way to make space. In retrospect I wish I would have brought another camera. But what? I suppose I could have stuck my M-6 with a 35mm lens in my other carry-on, but truth be told I would have loved to have had the Leica X1, something compact and digital, but of high end quality. It has been, and will always be my bete noire-- not to have, at all times, the perfect camera.

A few mornings while the rest were still sipping their first cappuccino I drove around Chianni to make a few photographs. The great thing about shooting a large format camera is you don't start extending the legs of your tripod unless you're fairly confident you have something worthwhile to spend the time and money on exposing a sheet of film. That's the beauty and/or fault of digital. It doesn't cost a dime to take a bad photograph. Stubbornly I still have the film mindset of trying not to take the picture.

Downward Dawg?

2011-08-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Last week I took pictures for my friend/ teacher's website. Carmen Fitzgibbon is yogini who teaches at Yoga Works Studios in Los Angeles. I met Carmen about ten years ago when I was practicing yoga on a regular basis at Yoga Works. Before she made the decision to dedicate herself to the teaching and practicing yoga she worked as a stylist, one time working with me on a shoot. Since I am no longer living in central L.A. I am, unfortunately, not taking as many yoga classes. It's of not just my opinion that the best yoga teachers and practitioners are located in Los Angeles. I didn't know that I had been spoiled by the quality of teaching in L.A. until I've looked into classes near where I live.

Yoga is like so many other auxiliary businesses manifested in Los Angeles by the entertainment industry. I would dare to guess that more than 50% of the yoga teachers in Los Angeles were one time aspiring actors. I don't mention that to be critical of them, their life paths, and certainly not yoga. I state this belief to give reason to why the concentration of quality yoga in Los Angeles is so great. Actors are always seeking ways to enhance their physical, emotional, and spiritual selves, and practicing yoga is an encompassing pursuit that improves one's mind, body, and soul. If I'm eating properly, limiting my alcohol consumption, and practicing yoga 3 times a week I am at my best.

Photographing Carmen performing a variety of asanas was an enjoyable and inspiring project. The challenge was to optimally position my camera to make her poses look technically perfect. This was a challenge because as Carmen says, she is an alignment junkie. There are a variety of yoga practices from Hatha to Bikrams, the one that Carmen comes from is Iyengar where posture and position are paramount, and workout and sweating are secondary. Every serious yogi at one time or another practices a form of Iyengar to technically improve their poses and complete their practice.

Viewing the images with Carmen after the shoot reminded me of my own pursuit of perfection with photography. What appeared to me to be a perfect pose, Carmen would point out that her big toe was not touching the ground, a no no. Overall Carmen was happy with the work, however; the next time she has photographs taken of her poses she wants another Iyengar alignment junkie on set to make sure her poses are text book. In the meantime this out of shape yogi is inspired to get his butt back in class.

A Pleasant Occasion

2011-08-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Sydney and I drove south on I-5 to the opening reception gala of The Art of Photography Show in San Diego. I was honored to have "Louise" selected by the curator of the show, Anne Lyden the Associate Curator at the J. Paul Getty Museum. 15,444 images were submitted by artists from 72 different countries and only 109 images were selected. So, it was quite the honor to be represented in this prestigious show. It was also fun to meet and mingle with some of the image makers. Obviously not all could come, but I was able to get about 30 of those artists who did attend to scribble their autograph next to their work in the catalog. It was good to see my new friend and inspiration Jesse Rieser. Our work has appeared together in about 3 different shows this year. They had an artists only reception an hour before the doors were open to the public, so it was fun to sip on the free bubbly and look at some stunning work. I had a chance to speak with Anne during the reception, and she remembered me from a review I had with her at Palm Springs Photography Festival 2010. She congratulated me on my selection and hard work, and told me my follow-ups made it easier for her to include me in her selection. As has been said by Aline Smithson numerous times: it's about hard work, persistence, and consistency. Truer words are rarely spoken.

A return to Paris

2011-08-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

It looks like I'll be having a show of a work from both Lakewood: Portraits of a Sacred American Suburb and Au Bout de la Ligne (ABDLL) in Paris this October. The details are still being worked out, but it looks as if the vernisage (opening night) will be the Thursday (Jeudi) the 13th. You're all welcome. The other day in beginning initial preparation for the show I went through my images from ABDLL again and came upon some photographs that had missed the prior cuts. I find that it takes approximately six months before I can objectively look at an image, and even then until I print it out and see how works at least 12"x12" I do not know if it's a keeper. The monitor can fool you. I save my heart until I see the print. Then and only then will I allow myself to fall in love. But photographs can sometimes be like that girl you ignored in high school only to see her again a few years later when she's blossomed. And like some photographs I've always thought that those that bloom last bloom best. Anyway enough about romance and blossoming here are few aged images from the archives. Of course I'm just dating them again, I will not get serious until I make a test print. However, you're opinions are indeed welcome. Cheers.

A long bike ride

2011-08-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

Last Friday as I do nearly once a week I went into to L.A. to drop off and pick-up film at A&I. If I have the time and not the need to carry anything large I'll ride my bike. From my home I pedal about 3 miles to the Del Amo station L.A. Metro Blue line. With my bike I hop on the northbound train towards downtown L.A. to 7th & Metro stop; there I transfer to the red line toward North Hollywood. I exit at Vermont and Santa Monica Blvd,; from there I hop back on my bike and head west on Santa Monica Blvd. another 3 miles to West Hollywood. Normally when I am finished with my errands I return as I came. However, last Friday I was feeling rambunctious, and on a whim I decided to make the entire 27 mile ride back home on bike. At a quarter till 4:oo pm I set off south on La Brea Avenue. Many who have not ridden bikes as long as I have fear traffic. I'm not implying I wouldn't be safer if I was driving like any normal person in the comfort of my car, but bike riders with experience know how to make car traffic aware of their presence. In fact Friday afternoon rush hour traffic is the best time to ride a bike in Los Angeles. Actually rush hour is an inaccurate description of traffic during the periods when working folk are on their way to or from work. It should be renamed snail hour, because L.A. traffic from 3-7 in the afternoon is merely creeping along. So not only am I unconcerned by the possibility of being injured by a car traveling at 5 miles an hour, I'm able to speed past most past most of them. At Washington Blvd with the wind at my back I headed east. L.A. traffic in the afternoon is usually heavy eastbound, but that wasn't the case, and to my surprise Washington Blvd. was free of potholes with plenty of room for me to ride comfortably between the parked cars and traffic. I remained on Washington Blvd through Korea town to downtown where I eventually was riding parallel and next to the Blue Line Train from whence I came. As does the train I turned south on Long Beach Avenue where all L.A.'s recycled scrap metal appears to reside.

So why am I writing about bike riding on a photography blog. That's an excellent question, and here's your answer. Riding my bike home allowed me to see parts and locations of L.A. I had never witnessed. If you have a taste for urban grit as I do it was a visual smörgåshbord. Heading south between the 110 and 710 freeways through south central cites Huntington Park, Walnut Park, South Gate, and Lynwood while I reposed at red lights I experienced a plethora of L.A. culture. My rear was soar and my muscles were tiring, yet the vibrance L.A.s vast multi-culture energized my pumping legs. I smiled at anyone who looked at me. Of course most people in L.A. think that a stranger over 20 riding a bike a bit kooky the return looks I received were a tad wary.

The best part of this trip was seeing all the wonderful possibilities for photographs. There's a project there. Perhaps it could be called "By Bike in L.A.." Now if can just find a way to rig my 4x5 and tri-pod to my bike. Dale's Donuts was merely taken with a Canon G-12.

New York Times Photo Blog

2011-07-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Today was special. I learned that images from my ongoing project Lakewood: Portraits of a Sacred American Suburb had been posted on the New York Times Photography Blog. This is a result of my interview with James Estrin, staff photographer for the New York Times and co-creator of Lens the New York Times Photo Blog, at Santa Fe Review in early June. It just goes to show you work hard at something and stick to it good things eventually happen. This business is all about consistency and persistence, simple as that. Oh, I would also like to thank Kim Nowacki who did the interview and wrote the article accompanying the images. I think she did a fine job.

Cheers All.

The Horse

2011-07-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

The Horse is short for Horseman, my recently purchased 8x10 camera. I got a very good deal, yet it's a very expensive camera. One sheet of film and process is a bit over $20.00. Think about that $20.00 for one exposure. How much is a digital exposure? Crazy, crazy. But there is something subtly special and compelling about the feel of the image. Of course there is the fall off, i.e. the look of the background as it fades away from the point of focus. I have a 300mm/5.6 lens and if I dare to fully open up and I am near my subject the background beautifully obliterates. And the texture, which I have always loved, is so rich you can taste it.

My goal with this camera is to find something special to use it for. It must be something more than just a subtle quality to the image. I'm searching for something magical. It make take many more views and film to find what that may be, but I'll continue to, carefully, search. It's a bit "Catch 28." To find what's special I must burn film, which costs a fortune. Tom Paiva, a connoisseur of all thing large format, says it's rare that a client will pay the cost to shoot an 8x10, but that does not stop him from using it for his personal work. Can the average person tell viewing it on a monitor? It's highly unlikely, but in photography, do we always opt for the practical? That's it for now. Moving forward my goal with this blog is to write more frequent yet shorter posts. Cheers to all, and it's good to be back.

Street Photographer

2011-04-27T23:07:00.001-07:00

I love street photography, and shoot much more of it if I did not live in Los Angeles. But, to shoot street you have to walk streets where there are pedestrians. When I take good street images I'm feeling the street. It wasn't that Cartier-Bresson was just quick that made his work so profound, more importantly I believe he had a spiritual sense of what was about to happen. The man was in harmony with the street.

I also like the thrill of taking photographs of people knowing who might get pissed if they see me photographing them. And most people, unless their concentration is focused elsewhere, sense when a camera is pointed in their direction. I believe people have an evolved sense of alertness when they're being spied upon, perhaps it's an instinct, similar to animals that are preyed upon, that evolved when humans at close range were always attacking each other.

In February and April I was in New York and Boston and here are some street images. Oh, and these were shot with M-6 with the 35mm. I can't imagine shooting street with a fucking Canon. It's so obtrusive.

What I learned at PSPF 2011

2011-04-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

This was my second year attending Palm Springs Photo Festival, and I am certain it will not be my last because I probably learn more in this week about photography and myself than in the course of the year. The difference for me from this year to last is I took Frank Ockenfel’s workshop, which was cut short a day because Frank had a job in New York that could not be rearranged. To make-up for Frank’s early departure Jeff Dunas offered us a day of studio lighting with Nels Israelson. Also new for me this year is arrived a day earlier to attend a meeting of stock photographers sponsored by Blend Images. After a portfolio review last year with Sarah Fix, the creative director of Blend Images, and showing an interest in stock photography, she invited me to attend. It was their spring meeting to give their photographers the opportunity to network and hear discussions on all things stock photography and the trends of the their business. Sarah is one of the nicest people I’ve met at PSPF and I’ve come to learn that stock photographers are some of the coolest and least pretentious shooters I’ve met since becoming a photographer.

Because much of my time and energy was consumed by the workshops I was unable to attend any of the symposiums and I could not commingle and network as much as I would have liked at the festival’s hub in the Hyatt Regency. Nevertheless I learned a lot, so hear goes.

I learned that Frank Ockefel beyond being a prolific image-maker is a photographer’s photographer and a philanthropist of spirit. I learned from him that with a bit of resourcefulness and less than $50.00 worth of lights purchased at Home Depot I can make a very provocative portrait, that if I wanted to get out of my creative box I had to suffer, and that if I wanted to get better I needed to delete my ego and embrace being a beginner… I was delighted to learn that my slideshow entry “Lakewood: Portraits of a Sacred American Suburb” was one of the 4 finalists. Ultimately my project placed behind the winner Angela Bacon Kidwell, but for the entire week many of my colleagues approached me with compliments. I don’t believe I have ever been more touched and honored…. As there were highs there were lows. There were no book deals or exhibitions offered by the book publishers and gallery owners I respectively reviewed with. I sense they appreciate the merit and quality of my work, but they don’t yet believe Lakewood will help pay their rent. And the curators I met with weren’t jumping out of their shoes either; one even suggested I try to exhibit my work in the Lakewood Public Library. I am still discerning if this suggestion was an insult, however; I intend to do exactly that. My two best reviews came from those I least suspected, photography reps: they see Lakewood as being more editorial than fine art. I can’t really argue with that, and I got the impression from them that if the work was tweaked a bit here and there it could be commercially viable. Wouldn’t it be swell if I started making money because of Lakewood? Talking with some of my colleagues we are still assessing the review process. Is it worth money? Is it for everyone? How many should we do? All of us agree we get something out of reviews: we learn not just something about are work but ourselves. More often than not the reviews are frustrating, because as my Wisconsin friend Mike Rebholz told me they seem to always want something you don’t have. That written, upon hearing this criticism I have gone out and sought those missing photos which have in turn added depth to my work. And one last thing Tom, you numbskull, when you pack for Review Santa Fe in June bring a recorder… From Nels Israelson I relearned the Inverse Square Law and that all lighting is a corollary of that law, that dramatic lighting works on everyone as long as you or someone you know is good at retouching. That with the continuing advancement of digital technology, the exception being fine art, dots on a screen will eventually replace dots on paper. It’s the Wild West and you have to continually reshuffle your deck and there is no such thing as a pat hand… From Todd Hido’s presentation I learned that art is nonstop and to constantly play and tinker with my vision, from Arno Rafael Minkkinen to make every thing I love into a piece of art… I learned to never have more than two drinks the night before I have reviews… I learned from Martin Gisborne that I would have saved myself hours if had used Aperture to make my slideshow presentation rather than Final Cut…

I learned to never ever test a new camera while trying to see the world differently… I relearned that Jeff Dunas is a pretty cool guy even if he can’t remember that I photograph Lakewood not Lynwood… I wish I would have learned more from Lee Varis’ Photoshop class but I was too tired and too hung over to take my face off the table-$95.00 for naught. I learned if I was not madly in love with and incredibly dependent on, Sydney, my wife I would volunteer next year because there are a lot of nice girls wearing blue t-shirts at PSPF. I learned that I have a group of colleagues that truly wish me well, and I would like Brad, Svjtlana, Nancy, Laurie, Tom, Mike and Mike, and Jamie to know I feel the same about them.

See you at PSPF 2012

Faith

2011-03-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening was the critique in Brian's portrait class for our assignment on the human condition.
We were assigned to make a portrait inspired by the film Bodysong and make a documentary/contemporary portrait that reflected something personal to us about the human experience. For two weeks I struggled to find an original theme that resonated with me. I racked my brain begging for an idea that was not contrived or cliché, then as with most of my concepts it evolved by happenstance. In this instance it was a combination of events: music from a ballet I attended and the inspiration of another student's Christian devotion.

I made a portrait of Joel. I brought him to Mother's Bay in Long Beach, a still saltwater bay to simulate a river for a baptism. I tested my own faith with a camera I have had very little luck with, a Holga. To increase the contrast and the angelic texture of Joel's skin I used a red filter, and I captured the image above. I am very pleased with it, although there were a few in the class who thought this image was staged. Well of course its staged, many photographs are staged. However, the question is does it work? I believe this one does.

I printed it on some old grade 3 Oriental Seafull I've had sitting in the darkroom for over ten years . Of course it was a bit fogged, but I was able to make something out of it. The texture of the paper remains very beautiful. But after becoming fairly proficient at photoshop, it is amazing how much easier it is to manipulate what I want on a monitor than in chemistry. Still I argue the quality of an analog print remains superior.

Stolen from Brian Doan's Blog

2011-02-25T09:18:00.000-08:00

a few good quotes

“ Which of my photographs is my favorite? The one I’m going to take tomorrow.

– Imogen Cunningham

“ If I saw something in my viewfinder that looked familiar to me, I would do something to shake it up.

– Garry Winogrand

“ I always thought good photos were like good jokes. If you have to explain it, it just isn’t that good.”

– Anonymous

“I’m at war with the obvious.”

– William Eggleston

“Unless a picture shocks it is nothing.”

– Marcel Duchamp

My Evening with a Master

2011-02-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

First I apologize for not posting something in some while. Preparing for New York, being there when the thermometer rarely rose above thirty degrees, then recovering from the trip consumed a lot of time and energy. To add to my excuse I was very sick before we departed, so I simply did not have the energy to blog. However, I promise my dedicated followers, all fifteen of you, in a future post to write in detail about my New York experience.

On this post I 'd like to write about my evening hanging out with Tom Paiva. I first met Tom at a photo critique at Ann Mitchell's home about a year and 1/2 ago. Tom is a very successful photographer who is commissioned by variety of creative directors all over the world for his acute compositional eye and ability to produce superior work; however, his passion is to use one of his many beloved view cameras to photograph prodigious manmade stuff in the stillness of the night. It's awe inspiring to view his work. On first inspection you notice how harmoniously he composes his views of massive structures of metal. On second glance you become aware of his precise use of ambient lights as if he strategically places them to illuminate his image. His awareness of the temperature of and color emitted by each source of light allows him to compose their opposite and complementary colors into kaleidoscope of hues. He works with the colors of the night as Eggleston does with those of the day. Unless he is obliged to shoot digitally, due only to the budgetary concerns of his client, Tom exposes his images on sheet film. In addition to being an excellent photographer, Tom is a lover and collector of all things view camera. He has an arsenal of lenses and cameras acquired over the years from colleagues, E-Bay, and camera shows that allow him to fine tune his work for any possibility. I've always been wary of too much camera gear fearing that it would alter my style. However, this evening I learned from Tom that a different tool can enhance rather than detract from one's vision.

Recently Tom has embarked upon photographing abandoned auto dealerships, please see his blog. So the other night Tom invited me to join him in making images of abandoned capitalistic waste. Serendipitously I happened to know of a couple of nearby vacant lots, so we agreed to meet at my house. Tom arrived around 3:30, in the afternoon, and gave me a little show and tell. He displayed his newest toy, and boy it's a doozy: a massive lens once used to take recognizance photographs during WWII. What's facinating about this lens is that its glass is made with radioactive elements, so as Tom says it's not something that will slip through airport inspection undetected. Tom has rigged the lens so it mounts onto his 4x5 Speed Graphic. The lens is super fast and that coupled with the the Speed Graphic's ability to tilt and shift can create an affect that makes a typical landscape image appear as if it's a still life. The famous photojournalist David Burnett has used this set-up to create some amazing unreal images.

After the demo we drove to a nearby abandoned dealership where I bought my first truck. He agreed that it was a perfect location-"plenty of patina"-unfortunately, it was heavily gated and Tom wasn't interested in trespassing. Yet, let the record show that I was up for some fence hopping. Of course I only had to get my 4x5 Super Graphic over the fence, Tom's weapon of choice this evening was his Toyo 8x10.

So we headed north to Norwalk to another abandoned dealership that Tom had been commissioned to photograph when it opened. But, no luck there either. The dealership hadn't completely shutdown and was not that interesting. It was too new, and hadn't any character. It lacked texture, or as Tom noted, "patina."

It was getting late and if we didn't find another dealership soon our evening would be without. I knew of another abandoned auto dealership in Carson, so off we sped in hopes of capturing something. We arrived at the lot with just a little atmospheric light remaining. I got out my Super Graphic and Tom his 8x10. And as quickly as you can set-up an 8x10 camera on a tripod Tom had lined up his shot. I attempted to set-up mine, but I immediately realized how unprepared I was for night shooting. Lesson 1: when shooting at night bring a good flashlight, duh! Also, my Super Graphic is not yet second nature to me, and it's one thing to not be completely familiar with your camera during the day, but quite another in darkness. We were just on the edge of loosing what remained of the sun's affect on the evening sky. And in my case it didn't help that 20 minutes into setting up my shot I realized I opted for the wrong lens. However, on this evening it wasn't important that I make an image; I was there to observe and learn. Once I had the correct lens I needed to raise my camera, and rather than extending the legs of my tripod I lazily raised its neck. Tom looked at my set-up, cracked a grin, and kindly told me that the passing cars would create enough vibration to shake the long neck of my tripod and blur my views. For a ten minute exposures this can be a problem. There were many other tips and anecdotes that Tom shared as we stood by and waited for his camera to complete its nearly half an hour exposure. He pointed to the pink clouds and told me there is only one type of transparency film that truly brings out those colors. He informed me that the deep blue hue of the night sky is only revealed in an 8x10 negative and that for long exposures, especially with 8x10 film, he's learned that he must pull the dark slide and let the film acclimate with the night air's cool dampness so the film doesn't buckle in mid-exposure.

After shooting we concluded the evening over a couple of beers and Mexican food. Photographing can be such a lonely endeavor, so it was nice to share an evening with a friend and colleague. I noted something interesting about Tom's demeanor throughout our afternoon and evening together. He didn't seem to be bothered that we had missed the best light, or anxious in pursuit of it. He accepted what was there and worked with it. In addition to all of Tom Paiva's technical and creative skill and knowledge, as with all masters, there is more than a teaspoon of zen in his mix.

Finally, the evening reinforced what I've known, but it was good to get another dose of it. If you want to be a successful photographer you have to be extremely dedicated. And if you wish to see your work in museums and be considered a master, making memorable magical images best be your single most important cause.

So much for New Year's resolutions

2011-01-25T06:34:00.000-08:00

Sadly, I was unable to fulfill my desire to make a photograph a day in 2011. In the course of a day I was unable to accomplish all that I needed to do and make a photograph. I chose not to, in desperation, whip out the camera and take another photograph of my cats to maintain my requirement. I think that in the long run that would have been unfulfilling. Rather I intend to make at least one very good a photograph once a week.

I have been frantic this new year preparing for our trip to New York for the Power Portfolio Reviews in Brooklyn. Since I have been living in Southern California for the last twenty years I am not all that prepared for tons of snow, so I pray the weather will mellow once we arrive. I've reprinted my "Lakewood" portfolio using Epson's Exhibition Fiber, and I am very pleased with the results. The paper is thick so it can be handled without bending, and it's semi-glossy surface brings a nice punch to the photographs. In addition, I've also ordered a new custom portfolio for the "Lakewood" project, see mach up above designed by my friend and mentor F Ron Miller. Years ago we used to live in the same bungalow complex in West Hollywood. He completely gets my sensibilities, so I just send him the artwork and words and he arranges it beautifully. What I most admire about Ron's work is his knowledge and use of fonts.

I've put so much time and energy into the Lakewood it deserved a handsome portfolio. The label on the front of the portfolio is letter pressed and reads "Lakewood: Portraits of a Sacred American Suburb." Letter press is an old process that stamps the type onto a thick piece of of card stock. It's expensive, but it adds a second dimension to the portfolio. The work was done at Aardvark, the one place in Los Angeles that still does this process. The guys there were very accommodating considering the small magnitude of my order. I was there at "press check" giving the approval of the final layout and colors, then watched these well tuned machines over 100 years old create this beautiful label (see above).

Finally, yesterday in the middle of the Los Angeles River in Long Beach, with the help of Sydney, I photographed my nude self-portrait for Brian's portrait class. I made the photograph with my 4x5, so even with Sydney's help I'm not sure at all what it will look like. I look forward to seeing the results. I will post it, but I guarantee you it will be cropped. Cheers.

A Photo per Day

2011-01-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

4. 9 I 2011, Downtown Long Beach, 1st Saturday of the month art walk.

3. 7 I 2011
2. 5 I 2011, Alamitos Bay

1 I 2011

This year I intend to make a photograph a day then post at least one photo from each day of the year. However, on some days I will be shooting film, so it may be a month before I'll be able to post an image for that day on this blog. Or perhaps even longer, because I may shoot an image which may lie dormant in one of my Hasselblad backs until I get around to finishing the roll of film, taking it to L.A. to be developed, selected, scanned, cleaned up and adjusted, sized down and finally posted. Oh dear, it's so much easier shooting digital.

9 days into the new year I have not failed to make a daily image, however one image I shot on 3 I 2011 I accidentally deleted in Aperture. It was a photographs of some limes I took with the 5D Mark II @ ISO 4000. It wasn't very good. I just wanted to see what a digital image looked like at that ISO. I sure looked noisy on the back of the camera.

The first image made on New Year's day-above- was made with Sydney's Canon G-12 that Santa left in sock for Xmas that she so kindly let me borrow to make this photo at Badwater in Death Valley. Due to the recent heavy rains the brine pond was deep with beautiful reflections. I made other 4x5 images on 2 I 2011 with my Super Graphic and will post those later once I scan the film.

4 I 2011- I made images on film for my project: "Lakewood: A Photographic Journal of a Sacred American Suburb."

5 I 2011- I am working on a project for my friend Mark Shadrow's real estate website. In this project I make images at Long Beach's cool locations. This image is of Alamitos Bay seen from Naples in southeast Long Beach.

6 I 2011- Lakewood, see description for 4 I 2011.

7 I 2011- Another for Mark Shandrow's website in the Bixby Knolls section of Long Beach.

8 I 2011- Another for Mark Shandrow's website taken in downtown Long Beach during 1st Saturday of the month artwalk.

9 I 2011- Lakewood, see description on 4 I 2011.

Death Valley

2011-01-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

Over the New Year's weekend Sydney and I took a road trip to Death Valley. Ignoring the getting trapped for 3 hours on I-15's Cajun pass by the returning Las Vegas crowd and the snow dropping below 2500 feet it was a wonderful trip. Sydney brought her new Canon G-12 that Santa left in her sock, and I my very old Super Graphic that I got for a song. The uploaded images are from her camera; my sheets have yet to be developed. She shot 300 images, I 30. There were photographers all over the park, mostly amateur, but by the looks of the some of the gear I saw there were many serious amateurs and a few pros in the mix. Except for one other guy porting a 4x5 everyone was shooting digital.

If you've read any of my previous posts you know I am stuck in the middle between analog and digital. Let me tell you it's not a very pleasant place to be. Digital photographic technology is expanding so rapidly that if you're not on top of it you're eating binary dust with one hand still holding your film camera. During our trip there were moments where I felt very stupid and archaic carrying my heavy tripod and film holders. It would have been much worse if Sydney wasn't assisting me. She shot with her G-12 and simultaneously assisted me. I've got the best wife!

While on the dunes we ran into a couple of French-Canadien photographers, Remi and Guillaume. When I walked up the dune breathing heavily due to the long climb up and down the sand with my 4x5 and heavy tripod on my shoulder to where Remi was shooting I noted he was using a neutral density gradation filter to darken the sky of his image. I jokingly announced "A gradation filter, while that's cheating!" They got the gist of my joke, because gradation filters were used long before the digital camera was created. Well, in ear shot was a another serious amateur who took offense to my joke, and yelled rather coarsely "Why is it cheating!" I didn't reply to her hostility. She didn't get that the joke was on me.

Remi was kind enough to show me the affect his filter had on the sky. The only filters I use are a yellow and a red to darken the blue skies or add contrast to my black and white images, yet I was very impressed with what I saw on the back of Remi's camera. I chatted with Guillaume and Remi for a while and was very impressed with their knowledge and gear. They had everything they needed professionally organized in their photography backpacks. They had modern gear and they were young and mobile. The sun was setting, the contour shapes I had trekked nearly a mile to photograph were fading and still to far away. I didn't have a lens to capture to make an image, so I returned to the car feeling very dejected with Sydney trailing me happily snapping away with her G-12. I began doubting myself thinking I was an old stubborn codger stuck in the past.

Yet this was New Year's Eve and I was not about to let my doubts spoil the evening. Before dinner Sydney and I toasted the end of 2010 by sipping on a wonderfully cheap Napa Valley sparkling wine. At the Stove pipe Inn we had the worst Cornish Hen ever placed on one's plate, yet after dessert we went to the bar and were actually, at least I was, entertained by the band consisting of a couple of old rock and rollers. I capped the evening off with a shot of Jameson Irish Whisky. We were back in the room by 10:00 pm and due to the long day of driving and hiking we sadly passed out about an hour before 2011 began.

The following day we travelled a couple hundred feet below sea level to Badwater. There it was magical. The pool of brackish water was deep enough for one distant visiter to Kayak upon. It also created marvelous reflections and there were a plethora of tourists making photographs. Perhaps I was reveling in optimism due to the new year but my bad mood from the day before had dissipated, and once again I unfolded the Super Graphic. But this time I didn't bother myself with what everyone else was shooting. I just concerned myself with my image, and what I could do with my analog camera. I don't know if I took any memorable images; I'll just have to wait to view the results upon development. If I have any keepers I'll show them to you in a future post. But I do know that when I am making my photograph I've kept the demons at bay and I'm content. Until then Happy 2011!!

Down River

2010-12-27T08:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday. I was cruising Belmont Shores the hip beach section of Long Beach for images. The sun was nicely diffused by some residue cloud moisture from the previous day's rain. I eventually meandered my way to the Alamitos Bay side of the peninsula. The tide was low and laying neatly along the beach, parallel to the shoreline, was a column of debris. The refuse was an olio of plastic, styrofoam, tree branches, and other crap that had made the long journey from its origin, the streets of East Los Angeles county. Most of it had probably already been in the storm drains, lying dormant until it was swept up by the recent rains and finally flushed through the storm drain's intestines flowing into the San Gabriel river and eventually swept out to sea. Conversely and ironically this junk finds its way back to land by the eastward ocean currents emanating from where the storm came. Dumped on the beaches where it now rests for those who live in very nice coastal properties to view while sipping on their morning coffee. This debris was able to survive the long journey because it's an entwined mix of floatable and hardy non-biodegradable detritus. One, although I would not recommend it, could safely walk barefooted on it because its sharp edges had been worn smooth due to its long eroding journey along asphalt, concrete, the ocean's bottom, then finally buffed by the fine sand of the beach. The debris would not entice such strong feelings of disgust if it consisted merely of broken branches and other naturally occurring organic matter; however, the ugly imprint of modern civilization has it's footprint all over it. I picture, staring at a remnant of a Styrofoam cup, someone however long ago discarding it after exceeding its purpose without thought or consequence. To that at best uneducated person it was only a useless expendable cup, but multiply that by hundreds of thousands and what results is what you see on my post. And what washes up on the beaches is only a minutia of what ends up in the ocean. Where do all those cigarette butts go that you see smokers toss out of their cars. Do you think those butts are biodegradable?

There was another photographer also documenting the mess. He blamed the debris on corporations for producing the non-bidegradble mess. This made me laugh, knowing how the new congress will attempt to whittle away at environmental regulations enacted under the Obama administration, which they label as job killers. I disagree with my colleague. I say, look no further than us. We did this.

Keeping it Analog

2010-12-19T22:08:00.000-08:00

In Brian's last class I showed my tintype of Larry. This image, taken directly onto a tintype with an 8x10 camera, with 300 mm lens wide open at 5.6, was a 4 second exposure. Fortunately, Larry was able to hold very still. I am still learning how to spread the emulsion onto the plate as you can see by dark spots on the edge of the plate. I feel they work for this image, but my inability to spread the emulsion evenly made many of the plates unusable. But I got one, and in the end that's all that matters. You can have a successful shoot if you have 99 horrible images but one great photograph. Likewise, you can have a painfully unsuccessful shoot if you have thousands of just good images.

One of the other students asked me if I would ever do a tintype from an inkjet transparency-- a contact print. I answered absolutely not, just like I can't imagine making a platinum/palladium print from a digitally produced negative. To many I might seem stuck in the past, which admittedly I am, but I consider using digital technology to obtain an analog affect cheating. It's an insult to the masters. She seemed a bit surprised by my response.

As is in most instances the better answer came to me much, much later. What I love about making tintype images in camera is the result is first generation-directly from light rays to emulsion, very much like a polaroid. There is also the mystery of not knowing I have an image until after the required fix time and I turn on the light in the darkroom . The bottle of Ag plus does not come with a film speed, although after some trial and error I start by assuming it has an ISO of about 1/2. And it doesn't hurt to play it safe and overexpose it. But that's the magic of the tintype process-- it's inexact.

On the other hand if I was to make a tintype with a digital transparency it would be indirect; the image would have to make its way through at least two computers (I consider an printer a computer), and the soul of the image would be lost in a binary code. And what you would see embedded in the tintype would not be nearly as magical.

Artistic Profile

2010-12-13T22:31:00.001-08:00

Hi All,

In August the city of Lakewood sent out a video crew to film me at Phantom Galleries where I had my show, Lakewood, a Photographic Journal of Sacred American Journal. I thought Jerome Academia, who produced and edited the piece did a marvelous job. It's a bit awkward for me to watch myself. As I can so easily see the flaws of my photographs; I can, likewise, see the flaws of my character. Cheers....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yEbtLsM1rU.

Billy

2010-12-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

Sydney and I recently visited the Los Angeles County Museum of Art primarily to see the current exhibition of William Eggleston. I have been an admirer of Eggleston’s work since I was introduced to it about ten years ago. Like many other of my contemporaries his pictures have and will continue to influence my own. But this evening rather than just appreciate Eggleston’s work, (Actually, I can never just appreciate photography, when I look at the work of others I have a terrible habit of torturing myself about my work. If I wish to merely enjoy art I’ll view sculpture and paintings, two mediums I have no intention of dithering in) I wanted to understand why his work is so revered.

I acutely studied Eggleston’s Color Dye Transfer Prints. The simple answer to my inquiry is he is a genius. He was/is able to do with a camera and color film what Miles Davis could do with a trumpet, Brando a script, Picasso a brush, and Updike a typewriter. They could take the same instrument their contemporaries used but do something their contemporaries couldn’t: take something simple and make it brilliant. William Eggleston was born with the innate talent to see an angle that composed a normally mundane chromatic scene into a two dimensional masterpiece.

In the forward of William Eggleston’s Guide, the book originally published in conjunction with Eggleson’s exhibit at The Museum of Modern Art in 1976, John Szarkowski explains that before Eggleston photographers were struggling with color film in their camera. Color photographs were either taken without consideration of the hues and form was ignored, or with pretty colors being the focus resulting in an image that, “comprises of beautiful colors in pleasing relationships” (Szarkowski 9), yet substantially meaningless. Eggleston was the first to be able to organize colors the way the greats of black and white photography mastered the composition of shadow and highlight.

Within his images I feel the touch of a jazz musician, an improviser of scenery who can twist a note or extend a beat that tickles the ear, or in Eggleston’s case the eye. In some of his images the scene is classically composed in perfect thirds as if to demonstrate to the viewer that he knows the rules. Then the next image, a famous photograph, of a white man in a suit in front of a black man wearing a white jacket both to right of a white car. At first glance this photograph is unsettling because it appears unbalanced. Yet, like an unmelodic Stravinsky opus it grows on me and I begin to admire its offbeat ness. The open car door, the pairs of trees that fall off into the background, the similarity of the two men’s posture and melancholic expressions, all sustain, within a monochromatic brownness, a 3-4 tempo that swirls around and around the white man’s red tie.

Many before me have tried to dissect Eggleston and his photographs, and from what I have read and seen the artist gives very little insight as to what motivates his imagery. Alfred H. Barr, Jr., a director at MOMA suspected that the inspiration for most of Eggleston’s work radiated “from a central circular core.” Eggleston’s response, perhaps a bit flippant, was that the composition of his work was based on the Confederate flag (11). This description is appropriately implied, not in composition, but in the theme of the photograph in the preceding paragraph. The references to the old south are obvious. Even though the two men stand in a similar pose there is a droop to the black man’s shoulders. Standing behind the white man, his white jacket without a tie, suggest the black man is subservient. The reference to the days of the confederate flag could not be clearer and more painful.

Eggleston once noted that he was at war with the obvious, and from my point of view there isn’t an obvious credo to his work. It’s feel and nonintellectual. Eggleson’s famous exhibit at MOMA in 1976 was initially harshly criticized. Hilton Kramer reviewing for the New York Times wrote, “the truth is, these pictures belong to the world of snapshot chic” (Weski). Perhaps there-in lies the answer to my original question: Eggleston was apt at conveying so much with an irreverent click of the shutter, and southern life of the 1960’s and 70’s is explicitly there.

Szarkowski, John William Eggleston’s Guide. New York, NY: The Museum of Modern Art, 2002.

Weski Thomas “William Eggleston: “The Tender-Cruel Camera.” American Suburb X February 2009

Tintype

2010-11-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

I apologize to my dedicated followers for it has been much, much too long since my last post. And I promised myself when I began this blog that I would write at least two entries per month. Well my post before this one was nearly two months ago--bad Tom, bad blog writer. My excuse is: I was distracted by politics. Those of you who know me, know that I have a passion for politics and that I get distracted by it. I volunteered way to many hours on getting California democrats elected and proposition 23 defeated. Numbers wise my efforts did not make much difference, but it felt good, even though I was sacrificing precious photographic time, to be a part of the effort that smashed the right wing wave at California's border. I can't imagine upsetting to many of you with this post for I'm sure few of you reading this post are politically minded or are Republicans. Which reminds me that in a future post, when I stray from photography once again, I would like to write why is conservatives suck at art.

But this blog is about my photographic process and not politics, so let's proceed. The last assignment in Brian's alternative photography class at Long Beach City College was to make a tintype photograph. Once again I would be going outside my box of comfort. I do not know if it's the same for other artists, but for me to try something new I sort of have to be pushed into doing it. It's why I suppose I enrolled in Brian's class. I purchased the Tintype kit from Rockland colloid Corporation. The kit included the metal plates, the liquid emulsion, which contains Silver, the tintype developer and a standard Kodak film fixer. I found the trickiest part of this process was spreading the emulsion on the metal plates. There is no need for me to go into the technique, because like everything else you can find it on-line. I will, however, write that spreading the emulsion on the metal plates is an incredibly messy process that is done under safelights and requires many unsuccessful attempts before acquiring the knack of spreading an even coat of emulsion onto the metal plate. Once spread on it takes, depending on weather conditions, about a day for the emulsion to set and dry. Patience, an attribute I am still short on, is key.

It's possible to make a digital negative than make a contact print onto the emulsion. Everyone in the class did that exept me. What would be the point of going through the trouble of creating an archaic photograph using a digitally manipulated negative? I did some test images to ascertain, or at least within the ballpark, what the ISO of the emulsion was. The tech people at Rockland told me it changes from batch to batch. And I'm sure the ISO of emulsion varies depending on how thick it is spread on the metal. With that I can tell you it's very slow, perhaps ASA 5.

Because of my political distraction I was late getting prepared for the assignment, so I was unable to test and practice with tintypes as much as I would like. I shot the 4x5 tintypes in my Super Graphic 4x5 camera. And I am quite sure the shutter speed on the 135 mm Super Graphic lens is way off ( I need to get the lens cleaned and tuned), so my exposures were a bit of, or should I say a lot of, an educated guess.

Yet, more challenging than the tintype process was conceiving a subject matter that I thought was appropriate for the medium. As always with these things it didn't come easy. After much brain strain the idea finally came. My neighbors nephew, who comes by quite a bit to go on bike touring rides with his uncle and aunt passed by, and as soon as I saw him the light inside my thick skull turned on and I knew Jonathan would be perfect for this project. I normally see him with his two brothers. All three are good looking lads, but Jonathan is uniquely handsome. I can't say for sure where the idea to photograph him came from. More than likely it is an amalgam of all the images I've seen since I became interested in photography. I can't even say which photographs were influential in my thoughts. However, I'm imagine I was influenced by the portraits of Irving Penn and Walker Evan. Yet I am certain some of the inspiration was drawn from my days as a model. I could easily imagine Giorgio Armani selecting Jonathan chiseled face for his fall/winter 2011 men's line. Whatever the inspiration I knew Jonathan's face would work for this process, and as you can see for yourself it did. His expression is that, not of an old soul, but certainly of one that has endured hardship. Except for the haircut, the image is timeless. The streak on the left side of Jonathan's face is from my uneven emulsion application. The scratches on his right side are from the removal and replacement of the dark-slide. These mishaps accidentally work and compose the photograph perfectly. Unfortunately the original tintype is too dark. Of all my emulsions this is one that came out the lightest, and it is even underexposed. And a day after the image was fixed with each passing minute it appears to fade and become darker. If I am to continue this process I must find out, if possible, how to prevent the image from completely fading. Nevertheless I sense I am on to something, and I am considering taking this process to a higher degree. I promise to keep you posted. Cheers for now.

Pinhole Sex

2010-09-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

It's rare when art and pornography work well as an ensemble. I am sure there have been directors of pornography that were good at creating visually stimulating-no pun intended-work. But one does not usually view pornography for art's sake. I think I either read or heard that the average length of time one views pornography at a sitting is around 7 minutes. My experience is closer to 3. That does not give one too much time to appreciate the presentation. Of course there have been some very talented fine-art photographers who have explored pornography and its world: Larry Sultan's ironic and satiric images in his ouevre The Valley sardonically examined the blandness behind the scenes of the porn industry. Terry Richardson's raunchy fashion work illustrates that glamour and porn rub more than just elbows. Robert Mapplethorpe's extremely controversial yet beautifully photographed hardcore X portfolio shocked even the art world and raised the question: where is the line drawn between art and obscenity? Timothy Greenfield-Sanders larger than life clad and unclad diptychs of porn stars reveal the ordinariness of the industry's celebrities. Pornography is a billion dollar recession immune industry. It's everywhere, and as much as we try to avoid it we still cannot avoid clicking that link. So, it is only natural that art explores it. Yet, where does the artist find himself within his work? And how do we know the work is art? Is our judgement tainted by our excitement?

Last week in my alternative photography class, where I had least expected it, I saw a collage of imagery that was pornographic, artfully done, and, I am bit embarrassed to admit, arousing. Pinned to the wall amongst all the other pinhole images of my other classmates were about twenty prints of women in the middle of intense sex; however, all that was visible in the photographs were their heads. It was evident these women were in the midst of copulation by the intensity and lust of their expressions. They were all attractive and young, and my first guess was-- the author of these photographs must have been a woman to have been able access such emotions, or these images were outtakes from a set photographer on a porn video shoot. The number and uniqueness of the work was so completely different than those of my other classmate, including mine, that I thought this presentation was from another class, a different project. Mixed within the erotic head shots were images of splattered red on black. Initially I had no idea what these photographs meant other than to give the viewer a break from sex. I felt like a voyeur viewing this work.

Our assignment for this project was to build a pinhole camera-see my previous post-then make a photograph. Most of the class photographed something simple; the challenge of making a proper exposure with a unconventional camera was creative enough. Yet, Shinichi Ishikawa took it much further, much further. He downloaded clips from the Internet, found then froze the frames that suited his objective, then he photographed them with his pinhole camera. With a combination of cardboard and "a lot" black gaffers tape he rigged a pinhole lens to his Hasselblad . He set brightness to the max, turned off the energy saving mode, and shot Polaroids of his monitor to check his exposures. He opted for positive film to capture his images, because he wanted true colors and he believed "using positive film would give his project a positive interpretation." He aimed a red laser pointer at his pinhole rig to make the splattered red on black images. These photographs he explained represented the girls' climaxes.

Shin's project is conceptually brilliant, and I believe will one day be exhibited in a museum. I look forward to viewing more of his work, and he has inspired me push my own envelop further. Finally, I admired Sin's pinhole images for much longer than 3 minutes. Perhaps that's what separates art from pornography: art of pornography arouses long after the climax.

Alternative Photography

2010-09-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was enrolled in an alternative photography class at my local community college. The teacher is a South Vietnamese refugee named Brian Doan. For my tone death ears his strong accent can be difficult to understand, but his passion for for conceptual photography could not be more clear. I also wrote that he wanted us to exercise our creative muscles to make a photograph that is a reflection of us. Initially I thought of doing figurative studies of my wife. Abstract nudes. That was not enough for Brian. So, with nothing else coming to mind I threw myself, without clothes, into the photographs. Et voila here are two images of my wife and I. The exposures are about three minutes long give or take a second or two.

I've included a couple of photographs of the 4x5 pinhole camera I built. I followed the instructions from an article that another student in the class found in an online wood working magazine written by Christopher Schwarz. Because I don't have all the proper wood working tools I constructed the camera out of 1/2 inch plywood rather than, White Oak, the material the instructions called for. And even though my cuts were not perfect, I have been extremely pleased with the results. I've tested 6 minute exposures and there is not one ray of light leakage.

Altruistic Photography

2010-09-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was viewing the work of the 50 winners of Critical 2009 and one image grabbed my eye. It was a photograph of a latex gloved hand holding some kind of a small animal. Because I am an animal lover the thumbnail piqued my curiosity and I opened up the work of Mary Shannon Johnstone, titled Breeding Ignorance. Her images were taken while she volunteered at an animal control facility in North Carolina. There she learned the cruel detail that for every 1 cat or dog that is sheltered 29 are euthanized because there are no places for them and nobody wants them. She also learned that many pet owners are opposed to sterilization and abortion of pet pregnancies. Inspired by her anger of their ignorance she demonstratively illustrated the fate of unwanted cats.

If you've read my previous posts you know that I am a lover of cats and seeing any cat suffer rips my heart out. What you don't know is that Sydney and I have started trapping feral cats, which we take to a local clinic to have spayed or neutered. After, we board them for a couple of days until they've recovered from their surgery then release them where we found them. It's a thankless job, and the cats we trap don't exactly appreciate our efforts. However, we've learned that what we're doing is humane, and now Mary Shannon Johnstone's photographs and words have motivated us to continue our efforts.

I do not have the stomach or courage to take the photographs that Mary Shannon Johnstone makes, but I am so pleased that she does. I hope that every potential cat owner sees her work and that it will hopefully enlighten more to the fate of unwanted pets and what results when pet owners are irresponsible and ignorant.

Creep

2010-09-05T23:33:00.001-07:00

I am sure this is not unique, but since I am one writing this post I'll believe it is special to me. In the theaters now is the trailer for the movie Social Network directed by David Fincher. The first time I saw the trailer, it was the music that drew my attention. The tune was one I heard before, but not by the same musicians. Well tonight I finally discovered the name of tune I could not get out of my head was Creep. With a little research I learned the Scala and Kolacny Brothers are the Belgium ensemble that are covering Radiohead's 2003 song. It's one of those songs I will play over and over again until I am sick of it. I'd buy it off I-Tunes if it was available, but I checked and it is not. Perhaps after all the positive feedback it will be on the market, but until then I'll just have to listen to it over and over again via the You Tube video. Cheers

A Visceral Photograph?

2010-08-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

This semester I am enrolled in Experimental Photography at Long Beach City College, taught by Brian Doan, and I think it's going to be a wild ride. Brian, who is Vietnamese, speaks with a thick accent that I find very hard to understand; however, he is extremely passionate about photography. Initially I considered dropping the class, because I didn't think it would be the most beneficial use of my time. But my intuition has overcome what perhaps is my common sense, so I've decided to not only take his class but give my all to it. We'll see. The first assignment is to make a pin-hole camera to create a conceptual photograph. Before we made our first exposure project Brian meets with each student in the class to discuss their concept. After seeing some examples of pin-hole photographs that Brian showed the class I opted on doing figurative studies. I decided I would do nudes of my wife in our dining room, and I would shoot it with a black background. I think the minute long exposures combined with the affects of the pinhole would make for an interesting photograph. It would be a challenge, but I thought I came up with an idea that made for a provocative and perhaps beautiful photograph.

I was quite confident that Brian would willingly accept my idea. I was wrong. Brain's first question was what does this concept have to do with you? In short my idea was intellectual, not visceral, and that's what Brian wanted. He's asking us to go beyond what we think.

Most of my photographic ideas have evolved from just picking up the camera and taking pictures. The concept derived from the photograph. Rarely have my photographs derived from a concept. That's why I hesitate to call myself an artist. I feel that artists create everything from a concept generating bug deep within their innards that only they have. Or perhaps it's a muscle that everyone to some degree has, one that I haven't fully developed? And maybe, that's exactly Brian's motivation for giving us this project for our first assignment.

Louise

2010-08-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

As I wander the streets of Lakewood in search of provocative photographs I continue to learn more about what makes my suburb special from meeting its residents and hearing their stories. One of the most popular photographs in my series is that of the elderly woman wearing a floral pattered dress under a blue sweater watering her lawn. What caught my eye and what makes the photograph unique is her right hand that is is holding the hose is protected by an orange oven mitt. It was a scene I came upon by chance on my way home from a meeting. I spotted her and the orange oven mitt, and I hurried home to grab my camera, all the time praying she would still be watering her lawn when I returned. Sure enough she was still at work, the orange oven mitt still insulating her hand from the cold spray. Normally I initiate a dialog with my subjects before I commence photographing them, yet with her I did not want to interrupt the moment and without speaking a word I began photographing her. Fortunately she ignored me, and our dance began: she watered her lawn as I did the best I could to follow. Not until I took my last frame did she ask, "what are you doing?" I did not reply because what I was doing just didn't seem worth explaining, and I didn't think she really cared.

If I hadn't made an interesting image the story would have ended there, but luckily my tenth frame was a winner. It's become one of my favorite images of the "Lakewood Project" because it says so much about my suburb: many of Lakewood's citizens take great pride in maintaining their yards. The orange color of the oven mitt, her resourcefulness of wearing it, and the lady likeness of her dress and elegance of how her right knee is bent accord the photograph grace and dignity.

A few months after it was apparent I had a photograph I could use for my show I returned to the home of the woman with the orange oven mitt to give her a photo. I rang her doorbell, however no one came to the door. I stopped by her home on several other occasions over the course of the following 5 months, until I stopped trying. Then about 3 weeks ago, while my show was still hanging, as I passed the house of the woman with the orange oven mitt I noticed in the open garage door a man getting into a SUV. I parked my truck and approached him. I asked if he knew of a older woman who lived in this house. He was suspicious at first, but after I explained to him my reason for inquiring he told me that he was her son, his name was Daniel, and his mother's name was Louise. He informed me that the reason I hadn't recently seen his 94 year old mother was because age and dementia were getting the better of her.

I told him about the photograph and my "Lakewood Project", and he said that he had read about me in the paper would be very happy to have a copy of the photograph I took of his mother. It was an amicable encounter, and I was pleased I finally had a name for my photograph.

Later that day I received an e-mail from Daniel where he explained that he had seen and liked my photograph of Louise. In his e-mail was an invitation to his blog which has since become a favorite of mine. Dan's blog is a record of his spiritual journey taking care of his mother in her twilight years. His blog is emotional and informative as Dan navigates the challenges of caring for his mother. It ain't easy and doesn't get any easier until it's over, but Dan, who has a lot of faith, manages to, without the aide of a caregiver, gives his mother the best possible care a son could give.

At my final reception Dan's sister came to the gallery. She gave me a little book that she had made from the photographs and favorite recipes she had collected of her mother. It's a charming little book with photographs of Louise spanning her many years. And in every photograph Louise displays the same spirit and grace that she exhibits in my photograph.

Meeting Louise's children and learning more about their mother are wonderful souvenirs from my Photographic Journal of a Sacred American Suburb.

The "Lakewood" Show

2010-08-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

This coming Friday, August 13^th, 2010 the Lakewood cable network will interview me then video my show at Phantom Galleries on 350 East 3^rd Street in Long Beach. It will be the conclusion of a month long showing of my project “Lakewood, a Photographic Journal of Sacred American Suburb.” It has been an exhilarating experience that has occupied most of my thoughts and energies since the beginning of this year when Neil France, the curator of my show, said it was a go.

Although I have been working on “Lakewood” for nearly nine years this was my first opportunity to exhibit the work. I immediately ramped up my efforts and began printing and reprinting my best images. As well, I took more photographs hoping to create better images and the effort paid off. 80% of the photographs that were selected for the exhibition had were made within the last year. There is nothing like a show to stimulate creativity.

At the end of March I participated in portfolio reviews at the Palms Springs Photo Fest where I showed my “Lakewood” work to 13 different curators, publishers, and gallery owners. The suggestions and constructive criticisms I received about the substance of the project, the artistry of the images, and technical quality of the prints aided me greatly in preparing for the show.

At the end of April Neil informed me that he had secured a venue and I would open on the 11^th of June. I had just over two months to prepare. I was tremendously excited yet equally nervous; we were on! A month later I saw the gallery and freaked out. It was huge, and I realized the size of the prints I had been making were too small for this space.

A lesson I’ve learned from fifteen years being a professional photographer is when I’m given an opportunity make the most of it. So, I dipped deeper into my wallet, and within reason and a lot of resourcefulness I decided to present “Lakewood” as if I was showing my work at the Museum of Modern Art. Thus began the final 4-week mad dash of printing, framing, and preparation for the opening. There is nothing like a deadline to shoo away the distractions and become severely efficient.

About three weeks before the opening a colleague asked me how the publicity was going for the show. At that point I had the invitations designed, but I hadn’t really developed a mailing list or a strategy as to how I was going to promote the show. I had to work fast; I had not a day to loose. I called my mentor and colleague Aline Smithson, and she came through big time. I’ve experienced when you do the work help is available. She not only announced my show on her blog, she gave me a list of other relevant blogs and press resources in Los Angeles to contact. There was a lot to do, but I felt with the help of my dedicated wife I could get everything ready for the opening.

Two weeks before the opening night I dropped off an invitation to my friend and real estate agent Mark Shandrow, and he asked me if I was sending out a press release. My reply was, “a press release?” I had no idea. Fortunately that wasn’t difficult to arrange because I was prepared. I had a project statement, my bio, and most importantly I had the supportive writings about “Lakewood” by DJ Waldie.

I would never of had as much success with “Lakewood” if it hadn’t been for the backing of Donald J. Waldie who has been a supporter and a source of information on all things Lakewood. Soon after I began photographing Lakewood I sought Don’s council upon reading his book, “Holyland, a Suburban Memoir.” Don graciously wrote about my work for my website, and I was able to use this and his name to secure contacts with the Lakewood and Long Beach newspapers. Don was also kind enough to announce and write about my show on his KCET blog. In truth, it would have been difficult to acquire the press I received without Don. When I called both the Press-Telegram and the Lakewood community newspaper their interest in my project rose once I mentioned that Don was a supporter.

Ten days before the opening and a day after I had mailed out all the invitations I received a call from the head of Phantom Galleries, Liza Simone, to inform me that the space for my show at the Pike had been leased and my show would be indefinitely postponed. For two days I was in shock, and then I fell into a deep state of self-pity and depression. I had to call and e-mail everyone I had sent invitations to, to inform them that the show had been cancelled. Many wrote back with their support and told to me to keep my chin up, but still I felt like a royal schmuck.

In the same conversation that Liza had broke my heart, she assured me that she would do whatever she could to find another space for me to show Lakewood. She also told me that sometimes these things happen for a reason. Yea right! And sure enough three days later Neil called and told me they had found another gallery. However, initially, the new space did not inspire me. My vision was tainted by the appeal of the previous venue, so I declined Neil’s offer. Then I became more depressed as I began to believe all the hard work and money I put into presenting a show would be for naught.

But Liza, bless her, convinced me that the gallery would work and to give it a chance. Upon seeing the space a second time with my wife I not only visualized the possibilities, I realized the new gallery was a better venue to show “Lakewood.” This new arrangement forced me to make a tighter selection with my prints, yet it allowed me an opportunity to break up the work into themes. I now realized that “Lakewood” would look better than ever, and my depression instantly dissipated.

As Liza had guessed the month postponement was a blessing. With the delay I had more time to circulate my press release. Prior to the cancelled show I had missed the June edition deadline for the Lakewood Community newspaper. Now, I had time to meet with the editors before the July paper hit the streets. They wrote a very nice article about my project and announced the show and its location. I was surprised by the number of phone calls I received from Lakewood residents interested in my project and the exhibit. I followed this up with an interview with Pamela Hale-Burns of the Long Beach Press-Telegram. Her article with my picture on page A-3 of the Wednesday paper before the reception gave the show the necessary gravitas and press. Anyone who read newspapers and was interested in Lakewood, photography, or both was now aware of my show.

In hindsight sending out the initial invitation, then e-mailing and calling everyone to warn them that it had been cancelled, followed by sending those same contacts a second yet altered invitation announcing that the show was indeed happening at a later time and different location only enhanced “Lakewood”s publicity. By the night of the reception almost every newspaper, event and art blog had something written about “Lakewood.” The word was out.

We opened “Lakewood” on the 10^th of July to coincide with opening of the Long Beach Art Exchange. It was a good opportunity for those who could not make the reception on the 17^th to have a chance to attend. Also many who were not aware of me or my work randomly walked into the gallery. The opening also gave us the chance to work out the kinks, so a week later everything was near perfect for the reception.

The reception was a smash. On the hottest day of the year over a hundred people showed up. They came from as far away as Ventura, and I sold two more prints and ½ of the books I self-published. At the end of the evening my back was sore from all the pats I got on it.

Because my wife had purchased enough wine to get all of Long Beach tipsy we did two more Saturday evening receptions, and I made sure anyone who missed the opening or the first reception knew they had another chance to see “Lakewood.” Of course there were those who flaked- some whom I had really counted on. I learned who my true supporters were, but I can’t complain because “Lakewood” was a success.

Was my show a financial success? Of course not, but I knew that going into it. Very few people buy photography from a photographer who is not acclaimed; however, the show was a major stepping-stone to obtain the necessary credence to one day become acclaimed. Yet, the fact that I sold three works in a horrible economy I consider a great success.

More important, at this point in the project and my career, than selling work was getting “Lakewood” out there. And here I succeeded greatly. The press I received along with the video the Lakewood cable network will create carves out a new notch on my resume and will assist me to connect with other galleries and curators.

The “Lakewood” show was not the end of my work on Lakewood; it was a celebration of it. As long as I live in Lakewood and am able I will continue to photograph it. There is so much more about my suburb I have yet to discover and tell, and now with the success of the show and the press I’ve received it will be much easier. At times photographing Lakewood has been awkward. Quite often my motives have been questioned- sometimes aggressively. Now that my work has been validated I’m sure it will be easier to gain more trust of Lakewood’s residents, and I’ll have greater access to new domains of my city.

Jorge Sato

2010-08-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

You know sometimes we desire what others have. In my case it's more about envying what others can do. I would love, for just one session, to be able to surf like Kelly Slater, write like Philip Roth, or play guitar like Eric Clapton. These envies do not last long, because I know those talents commenced their passions early and worked extremely hard to hone their innate abilities. My envy towards other photographers is different. I rarely envy another photographer's skill. Mind you I do not diminish a photographer's craft because I believe it is on par with vision, yet technique can be studied and mastered. What I envy are photographic visions that are most unlike mine.

If my head is in a good space rather than a self-critical one I'm able to enjoy the work of photographers I envy, especially the younger ones. I just viewed the work of this month's featured artists in the current issue of the photography ezine F-STOP and I stumbled upon the images of a Brazilian photographer named Jorge Sato. Perhaps because, like me, he shoots square I gave him particular attention, but squareness is about all we have in common. For one he's latin, and I'm not. I marvel at the offbeat samba like whimsical way he composes his work. I admire how he effortlessly avoids what I try so hard to accomplish in a photograph. His colors are off, but he doesn't care; his pictures are not painstakingly organized, but so what. They work, and they are magical! His imagery has a freedom that I envy. He dances with his camera the way his countrymen dance with a futbol (soccer ball). It's the beautiful game and in his case it's the beautiful photograph. He does not have a website, but you can view Jorge's work on flickr.

2010-07-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

The "Lakewood" exhibit is winding down, and soon I will need to return to typical life. It's been a lot of work and a wild ride, but now I have to figure out how to make money at what I love to do. It's never been easy for me to learn a living at this, yet somehow I must not allow the hindrances of the past inhibit the future. Perhaps the key is to stay in the present. Cliché but true. I must make work, and make sure people see it. So, how do I write, read the classics, remain atop of technology, create, earn a living, and love my wife. Ahaa, not a moment to waste. Let's make tomorrow the most efficient day ever.

My "Lakewood" Video

2010-07-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

In my show "Lakewood" accompanying my photographs is a video I recorded using the Canon 5d Mark II. I created it to supplement the photographs and add a second dimension to the show. It is my first project. After spending hours editing it- I now know why directors do not edit their films-I was kind of sick of it. The amateur flaws and the harsh sound the 5D recorded made it difficult for me to repeatedly watch it. However, I have been encouraged and heartened by the number of compliments I've received, especially from those with experience in cinema. It's inspired me to shoot more and expand upon what little I know about film making. Perhaps I am on to something. Ain't naivité great?

A few thoughts on my opening

2010-07-12T22:54:00.001-07:00

I am still reveling from the opening of my exhibit, "Lakewood" last Saturday. It was a nice beginning. Some very neat people came and were very kind with their comments. For the last 6 months I have been busting my butt preparing for the show and in the process I sort of lost all sense of self. Preparing for a show is an exhausting and stressful endeavor. I told myself not to freak out but of course I did. And at times I embarrassingly took out my anxiety on my wife, until she told me she would stop if I didn't stop. I stopped. One thing I have learned, or reinforced what I had learned before, is rarely are things going to be as you planned them. And it always takes longer than you imagine: you never consider lost hours due to mistakes. But, you're level of craft reaches new heights because when forced to make something better you find a way. And I don't recommend including images that are recently captured because even though they are fresh they haven't gone through grinder of time and objectivity. Will you love it 6 months from now.

The Meaning of Lakewood

2010-06-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when I met with the folks of Lakewood's Chamber of Commerce to show them my photographs, John B. Kelsall, the president asked me what type of photograph represents Lakewood. It was a simple of enough question, but his inquiry caught me off guard. This was odd, because to make photographs that represent Lakewood has been my quest from the outset. Yet, his question made me painfully realize that not one of my photographs sums up "Lakewood!" As a body, my work depicts a lot of about Lakewood, but I don't think even if I placed all of my photographs on a wall side by side they would create a mosaic of what Lakewood is. That has been the challenge when making, selecting, and writing about my photographs. And it's not static, the more I photograph the more I continue to learn about Lakewood. Yesterday, I was trolling the streets north of South Street and east of Woodruff Avenue where I found the feel and architecture of the homes to be completely different to that of where I live in the western half of Lakewood. It felt like I was in Orange County.

I suppose my point is this, and the reason why "Lakewood" as a project is challenging. There is a certain feel to Lakewood, and as John B. Kelsall noted, "you know when you are in Lakewood." To capture that in 20 provocative photographs is my mission and something I am close to, but have to date not completed.

Dog Days

2010-06-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

Daily, I would like to write something clever, inspirational, or share an artistic breakthrough, but to accomplish that would take much more discipline than I have. Actually, tonight, I feel like writing something negative. I've had a few hard knocks of late, and I would love to rant about them. Yet, I have learned that nobody really wants to read or listen to someone bitch. So, I'll instead I'll yell at my wife. Kidding, she would merely tell me to can it.

We have our ups and downs as artists. It truly is a roller-coaster ride. I made some good photographs today, and that usually keeps the buggars out of head, but sometimes even on good days I feel like I am spinning my wheels. The world news hasn't been all that great either. Maybe I should just go to bed, and go after it tomorrow.

Preparing for my Exhibit

2010-05-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I made my final 15x15 inch print for my "Lakewood" exhibit, and that was the easy part. Now, I must frame them, which means cutting mat board, foam core, and plexiglass, making beveled edge window cuts, and assembling 30 pieces together. I am making this task easier having purchased Blick aluminum frames. They are not the most attractive frames, but they are inexpensive and reusable. Even at that the cost of printing and framing thirty prints will be about $60.00 per image. That's not bad, but it's not chunk change. It's expensive, however I am exited. The prints look fantastic, and I am sure once they are framed and hanging, and an ensemble, they will look marvelous.

Yesterday an Angel greeted me.....

2010-04-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while working on a variation of my Lakewood Project, I came upon an angel. Just as I got out of my truck to make a photograph an adorable long hared, cross and green eyed Calico greeted me. She was meowing away; she said: hi!, how are you?, what's your name?, will you please pet me?, I'm lonely so lonely, would you happen to have any Fancy Feast with you? I bent down to greet and per her atop of her head and rub under her chin, and her purr engine roared. She sensed my residual grief, her purring ceased, and she whispered to me, "I am sorry about Buzz, but don't worry he is in a very good place now." I thanked her, wished her a very pleasant day, and promised her that I would come visit her again. She welcomed me back anytime and said good-bye. I went in the other direction and made my photograph.

How do I remain sane?

2010-04-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

OK, after a two year sabbatical I have fully returned and am committed to being a photographer. And now I am overwhelmed. I am crazy busy and I have not even begun to promote myself--the most important part of being a photographer. I have taken on Final Cut Express, which is a 1/5 the cost of Final Cut Pro, yet the learning curve is nearly as steep. I purchased FCE rather than FCP, figuring you don't buy a Porsche if you don't know how to drive. Yet FCE does not handle the Canon 5D Mark II media at 24 fps. More about that in future posts. I have spent at least thirty hours on it, and I have yet to cut a video. Simultaneously I am trying to learn Aperture 3, which I won as a door prize at Palm Springs Photo Festival. I spent 3 hours trying to make a damn contact sheet-see above. Yet, recently I have my doubts, because Joan Paul Capionigro told me at a ASMP workshop he did with R. Mac Holbert, that I should sell Aperture 3 and buy Lightroom 3. Yikes. Then yesterday, Amanda Friedman, another very talented photographer, told me Capture 1 is the bomb. Yikes again.

So yesterday I fell upon Emily Shur's blog, and it inspired me to write more about my experiences returning to photography. Besides being a very talented photographer she is a damn good writer. Now I must learn how she links every one and everything she writes about without writing out the entire URL. Digital, has not made photography easier. Oh yea, it has made it easier to make an interesting photograph, but to stay on top of what is happening it has made being a photographer much more complicated, time consuming, and expensive. Yesterday evening, after a day in front of the computer, which is where I spend most of my days, I was exhausted. Yet sleep was light last night because I was haunted by nightmares self-doubt. Oh, and I have decided to post to my blog first thing in the morning rather than at night. It's much too difficult for me to write anything sensical when I am exhausted. Cheers for now, but I promise to be consistent, and write what I daily learn.

This is the contact sheet I was working on yesterday. It's part of my Lakewood project....

Buzz Continued

2010-02-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

I continue to ride the highs and lows of my cat Buzz. He has been pretty sick for the last few days, and I am beginning to prepare myself for the awful eventual day that I must make to let him go. The Vetinary Cancer clinic called me today to inform me that his blood tests from yesterday indicated his white blood count to be low. And that he needed to be placed on anti-biotics immediately to quell what might be a possible infection. This could have been the cause for his listlessness this last week. I gave him his first dose this afternoon, and although it's to early to know for sure, he seems to be improving. The vet also told me that if he doesn't improve by Sunday, it maybe time. I pray that it is not. Lord I don't think I am ready to let him go. When it is please give me a loud and clear signal.

Edit, Edit, Edit

2010-02-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

I am taking a basic color class from Neil France at LBCC. It is a beginning class, and almost every student in the class is a novice except for me. I question my enrollment sometimes, but for $78 what the hell. I'm still learning. Neil told us something about projects a couple of classes ago that made a lot of sense and stuck with me. He said constantly edit your work, and don't add fillers. Wow! I knew there was something not right with my Lakewood project. As a body it wasn't working. It needed to be edited. So I removed all the photographs that were not in sync with my project statement. Then I realized my project statement was vague-good but vague. Today I edited out the the still lives and the landscapes from the portraits, and there was the project. Portraits of Lakewood's residents. That I can nail in 20 photographs, and it will be much easier to compose for a project statement. Oh, I'll still create images without people. I love doing that. But the project holds water with just portraits of folks from Lakewood.

Buzz

2009-11-19T22:34:00.000-08:00

I write this post with my cat and best friend Buzz sitting right next to me by my keyboard. He is actually waiting for me to vacate his favorite chair. A month ago Buzz was diagnosed with abdominal cancer; he was very sick, and I thought he was a goner. I have never been closer to another animal, so I took him to the cancer clinic in Tustin. There our luck began to change. I think in large part due to we drew Dr. Rosenberg the head of the clinic. I was heartbroken. When she walked into the room where I was waiting with Buzz, I was already crying. Four days prior I had to rush Buzz to the vet because he had thrown up so much he was low on electrolytes and needed to be placed on an IV. Dr. Rosenberg was with an intern, and she asked the young girl to fetch some Kleenix for me. I gave her Buzz's history. Talking to her calmed me. I immediately knew this woman knew her stuff. She is big league. She physically examined him and felt the tumor verifying the ultrasound Buzz had two days before. She kept him for a couple of hours to do another ultrasound and attempt to take a needle into the tumor to aspirate a biopsy. I can't say why, but I remember leaving the clinic to grab some lunch feeling better. I wouldn't say Dr. Rosenberg gave me hope, yet her manner and knowledge comforted me. I sensed that Buzz could not be in better hands. The ride home was long, but Buzz who normally bitches the entire ride, having been drugged for the tests, was calm. My boy sat in my lap the entire ride home. The next day I spoke with Dr. Rosenberg and she told me that the aspiration didn't tell her anything, and that she believed the tumor was not lymphoma, but worse a sarcoma. She told me to bring Buzz to the clinic the next day, and overnight she would meditate and come up with a strategy. By then, I was beginning to accept the fact that Buzz was no going to be around much longer. I hadn't given up hope, however I was preparing myself for the worst. Because Buzz was weak and not a young cat Dr. Rosenberg decided against doing anything evasive to assay the tumor. Rather she decided to go on her experience and gut to treat Buzz. The next day I brought him in, and she gave him his first chemo treatment. She advised me that he could suffer nausea the first 72 hours, or 7-10 days after the treatment. I did not notice anything different except Buzz's appetite had increased. He wanted to eat all the time, and he wasn't throwing up. The 7 to 10 period passed without incident, and Buzz kept on eating. Two weeks after his treatment I came home from shooting and noticed there was throw-up on the drive way, and I thought oh, the nausea is getting to him. So I got some of the medication that Dr. Rosenberg had given me and coaked it down Buzz's throat. On the bed where he was laying I noticed drops of blood. Then he shook his head, and a spray of blood flew off him. My first thought was Oh No, he is so bad he's coughing up blood. Then I saw a nasty gash on his ear. I tried to examine it, but he resisted. He was wounded, and then I realized he must have gotten into a fight with another cat. It freaked me out, because chemo takes its toll on the white blood cells and I was terrified he was going to get an infection. I examined for any other wounds and to his aggravation I cleaned out the gash with peroxide and Neosporin. He seemed to be OK....... My neighbor Peggy saw the fight, and she couldn't believe Buzz was involved. She had seen him the week before when he was sick and weak. Peggy told me the other cat was the aggressor, but that Buzz held his own. This was weird. My sick cat had the strength to battle. It was true, other than the wounded ear, Buzz was looking much happy and healthier. The stuff was working. What gave me the most satisfaction was watching Buzz sleep. I saw him sprawled out when he napped. He no longer looked uncomfortable. My God, my dear boy was not in pain. That made me so happy, but also sad knowing he had suffered so long without my knowledge. I was looking forward to bring Buzz back to Dr. Rosenberg to share my observations. My Buzz was back.

2009-10-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

I have been moving along quite nicely back on "Lakewood." I was walking the suburb Tuesday evening. I walked the sidewalks of Pennswood and Whitewood streets on each side of the major street, South Street. I walked as far north as Hungerford Street, and as far south to Michelson Street. My best photographs were taken on Whitewood, north of South Street. There I took some interesting group portraits. It amazes me sometimes, that I, a very she person, can walk up to group of strangers and ask them if they will allow me to take their portrait. Often their reply is negative, however, surprisingly I get more "Why nots," than one would suspect. I suppose they grasp my passion and interest, and just maybe they appreciate the attention. Forward I move on.

Not Getting Overwhelmed

2009-09-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

So many photos, ideas, websites, it all overwhelms me. I seem to lose footing. If I don't write a list of what I need to do each day, I wander and become distracted. I have decided to become proficient at Photoshop; however, I don't want to derail myself from taking the photograph. All the other stuff, the environment, health care, Obama, surfing: if I am to succeed, they all must become secondary. I would love to be a man of renaissance, but a DeVinci mind I do not possess. Hence I must focus and work harder. What did I learn today. It seems that so much of knowledge is the continuous incremental building upon more knowledge. And that passivity teaches me nothing. It's the constant work and the attempt to make art that makes me better.

A realization on 3616

2009-08-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

It's important that I do not let the day to day monotony of life prevent me from contributing to my daily blog. I could just write, and let the outcome find itself. I have not gone surfing for over a week. I am too fat. I want to write about photography, but working on my duplex has caused me from working on anything else. The duplex all of a sudden has become a time, energy, and money drain. Since the Green's have departed 3616 all that was done incorrectly or ignored on the apartment now sits on my plate and is consuming me. Of course I have allowed it to happen. Stripping the paint off the brick, although with time I believe it will look better, is now causing me emotional turmoil. It was foolish, but now I am stubbornly too far along to go back. So what shall I do. Tomorrow, Sydney and I will further clean up the mess, and I will leave the brick alone for a while. Perhaps the massive amount of water I sprayed will slowly seep into the paint and weaken its bond to the brick. Bobby's got the paint under control. The termite people will take care of the bugs. I will fix that U-joint under the tub, and I pray it doesn't lead to other problems. And that will be it for the remainder of the year. No more stress with the apartment.

Fear and Greed

2009-08-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

On the way to the movie this evening my wife, Sydney, and I waited at a stop light next to a truck that had a bumper sticker on its rear window that read, "I'll keep my freedom, my gun, and my money. You can keep the change." This was an obvious ignorant play on words and reference to Barack Obama. Of course, his truck was the type that gets about 5 miles to a gallon. I try to ignore such ignoramuses, but it's difficult. These people rouse my anger because they, with their values guided by fear and greed, hinder the President's effort to fix our health care system and take the significant and immediate necessary steps to lead the world in the fight to arrest the advance of global warming. If our situation wasn't so dire, I would pity these morons and lack of education. Rather, I find my contempt for them gnaws on my better self.

2009-07-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

With Deanne's suggestion I have begun a new portrait project. It is still too early to reveal the subject matter, but I will share thoughts on my approach. I would like to to add another gear to my portrait process, but I do not want to over complicate the process and loose my connection and spontaneity with my subject. To take a good portrait, past experience has taught me to minimize the variables. I would love to shoot these portraits with a view camera, but if I do I will stick with available light. Variables are the subject, the location, camera, and light. Each extra subject is an 1/2 a variable, while each light source is a variable. A 35 mm camera is 1/2 variable, a medium format camera 1 variable, and a 4x5 camera 2 variables. For example, if it's just the subject, the sun, and my Hasselblad, that's only 3 variables. Easily I can handle 3 variables (see portrait of Alex). 4 can be a challenge, but I can comfortably handle it. More than 4 variables, and it's just me without an assistant (a good assistant absorbs 2 variables, a great one 3), my efforts will not result in a good photograph. So, my challenge is to add another gear to my work, without over complicating the process and loosing my subject.